Monday, January 8, 2018
Things treasured up, and heart pondering...
Monday, September 25, 2017
Get Your Hopes Up!
For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9
Ever find it hard to identify what you're feeling until that certain song comes on and triggers a light-bulb moment? I have been at a loss lately, as the days and weeks pass by. Our little Leila is officially a Clevenger. She's legally our daughter, the 5th member of our family, and yet still miles away over an ocean, during hurricane season! Her recent birthday (September 16th) kind of knocked the wind out of me.
So many people that I know and love are experiencing seasons of waiting, of heartbreak, of uncertainty. Many others are on the brink of exciting new seasons of life. Most of us though, find ourselves balancing the two. Wins and losses. Joy and grief. A conversation yesterday reminded me how life events (especially repeated losses) can really make us weary.
This year has had it's share of tears. We said goodbye to Brady's beautiful Grandma Betty. Last night I had the sweetest dream about her. She was sitting and showing us different treasures she had collected over the years and telling us all of the special stories to go with. It was such a vivid dream. I hugged her tight and asked her not to go. As the flaky wife of her grandson, I really do not deserve the privilege of this vivid dream, but I treasure it. She was a humble, praying woman. Oh, she loved her savior! I hope to face the end as she did, hands held high in praise as she sang of standing in awe of her Lord.
REFRESHMENT! I was not crazy for having high hopes that Leila will know her Maker, and love Him with her life! It's right and good and purposeful to have high hopes that the One who rose from the dead can take care of people and situations I have no power to help, or change! The verse at the start of this blog (2 Chronicles 16:9) brought me much hope at an earlier time in our lives, and came back to me today. The Lord is actively pursuing the weakened hearts of those who love Him so that He can strengthen us. THIS BLOWS MY MIND! We are going to experience No when we want a Yes. We are going to have to say goodbye when we aren't ready. We are going to face things that we would never handpick for our lives or the lives of our loved ones, but those of us who commit our hearts fully to Jesus will always have reason to get our hopes up. His plan is a good one. His heart is trustworthy. His Mercy is new every morning. I cannot wait to share these truths with our girl, and I'm thankful I get to share them with her brothers while we wait.
Shortly after this, my childhood community lost a man whom I very much respected. He invested in me back in the day, when I was a total brat. My love for Jesus, my realization of how wrecked I was without Him, came in part because of the patient and early investment of this old friend and his amazing wife. My heart still grieves this loss, along with many others who loved him.
Really as I recall these almost 4 years since we started the adoption process, many of the people we love have experienced big losses and many have experienced wonderful gains. So much can happen in just a few years. On my side we have experienced the joy of welcoming 4 new littles, even as our hearts still ached for the 2 who went straight to Jesus before we ever got to snuggle them. We've praised God for growing the families of our friends, and cried out for Him to comfort friends whose families felt deep loss. We've rejoiced as people we love have made decisions to live renewed in Christ, and cried out for others who are yet to do the same.
I guess I'm going into all of this because I have been afraid to hope lately. That's not very pretty, is it? We have been getting disappointing news adoption wise lately (mostly in regards to delays in bringing Leila home due to riots and the unpredictable timelines for the next couple of steps). When I consider the big picture of why my heart is weary, in light of the length of this journey, and the hits along the way, I don't know why I didn't pinpoint this area of weakness right away. It's sorta just been lingering as I've continued to read my Bible and pray, and go about the usual things. I just haven't really been able to put a name to what's getting to me, until recently when this song kinda shocked me back to reality. It's called, "Get Your Hopes Up" by Josh Baldwin. Here are the words:
I see the sun waking up the morning, reviving dreams
I feel the wind on my back with promise, reminding me
There's a garment of praise for heaviness
There's a new song burning inside my chest
I'm living in the goodness that He brings
Get your hopes up
Lift your head up
Let your faith arise
Get your hopes up
Our God is for us
He's brought us back to life
Christ before me
Christ behind me
I am firmly held
In His mercy never ending
I'll remind myself
I see the sun waking up the morning, reviving dreams
I feel the wind on my back with promise, reminding me
There's a garment of praise for heaviness
There's a new song burning inside my chest
I'm living in the goodness that He brings
Get your hopes up
Lift your head up
Let your faith arise
Get your hopes up
Our God is for us
He's brought us back to life
Christ before me
Christ behind me
I am firmly held
In His mercy never ending
I'll remind myself
REFRESHMENT! I was not crazy for having high hopes that Leila will know her Maker, and love Him with her life! It's right and good and purposeful to have high hopes that the One who rose from the dead can take care of people and situations I have no power to help, or change! The verse at the start of this blog (2 Chronicles 16:9) brought me much hope at an earlier time in our lives, and came back to me today. The Lord is actively pursuing the weakened hearts of those who love Him so that He can strengthen us. THIS BLOWS MY MIND! We are going to experience No when we want a Yes. We are going to have to say goodbye when we aren't ready. We are going to face things that we would never handpick for our lives or the lives of our loved ones, but those of us who commit our hearts fully to Jesus will always have reason to get our hopes up. His plan is a good one. His heart is trustworthy. His Mercy is new every morning. I cannot wait to share these truths with our girl, and I'm thankful I get to share them with her brothers while we wait.
Thursday, June 29, 2017
WARNING: If you are not in the mood for run-on sentences, too many commas, feeble attempts at humor, or complicated details which may not be adequately unpacked, do not continue reading!
I really stink at blogging. I'm pretty sure we hold some kind of record for most pathetic blog upkeep. I apologize. Though we have neglected to maintain this blog, we have not forgotten your love, generosity, and support on this journey. We are so thankful for your patience as this last year played out, and it definitely played out according to the Lord's best plan. As usual, we were not given advance notice, but simply given the strength to trust Him as He worked! July of last year, as I wrote about the way Christ wastes no time in our waiting seasons, I was out of the loop on what big changes and beautiful gifts He had in store for us.
Around the time of our last blog, we were becoming confused and concerned about the lack of information and forward progress taking place with our pre-match to a precious little one whom we had been pre-matched with since early summer 2015 ( about 14 months). If you remember (I know it's been awhile) prior to this match, we had been moving through the process pre-matched with a little girl whose father was able to take her back home. So, after recent months of no change with our new match, and little cooperation or promise of change, we prayerfully considered how to act. Finally, we were informed (after much persistent questioning) that the little girl we were pre-matched to was still not fully adoptable. Her living parent, who initiated her daughter being adopted and had signed all paperwork and attended many scheduled appointments, was now not showing up to scheduled appointments or responding to any attempts at communication. There were two different camps of thought to process about this information. We chose to believe this was a situation of a precious Mama who was not ready to complete the relinquishment process, and by not following through was trying to buy time to bring her child back home. The other camp of thought, or explanation for this Mama's behavior was not very honoring of her, and we would much rather believe she behaved as she did with pure motives and love for her child.
Over the last 3 1/2 years since we began, we've been praying for the sweet one we were matched with, but even more specifically for the member of our family that the Lord planned to bring our way. We learned pretty early on in the process to be flexible, trusting that the Lord would answer our prayers and work on behalf of the little girl He wanted to place in our family. This may seem calloused, but we have really learned to want God's perfect will, and when a heart is dedicated in that direction, change and disappointment in all different forms is easier to accept, and a beautiful perspective of hope, which some may call foolish, brings confident anticipation of seeing God's plan unfold. We had hope that He would look after the little girl we were no longer going to be able to love on, and He would bring the one He had in mind all along- fulfilling our resolve for good and this work of faith by His power and for His glory (2 Thessalonians 1:11).
He mercifully allowed us to see His plan unfold in no time at all! We decided to petition the department who makes and approves matches (IBESR) to match us with a little girl who has already completed the court process. Duh, right? But in Haiti, this is a rarity as they are attempting to comply with new Hague adoption law and are really bogged down in an already complex matching process. Which basically means children who are ready to be adopted (court has declared them orphans) and waiting families who are already approved may not be linked up logically. We were informed that this was not a typical request and may not be looked upon favorably by IBESR because they want to maintain complete authority over the process and do not appreciate input or petitions. We went ahead and sent our lawyer to make the petition. We did not even know if there would be a ready child, or if so, the department would be willing to work with us or just send us back to the beginning. In no time at all, we heard back that IBESR had granted our petition! Our agency was surprised, as they had told us not to expect approval. We were so thankful!!!
We learned our daughter's name, and saw her beautiful face for the first time on September 16th, 2016 (her third birthday)! We were so thankful for the Lord's kindness towards us. From that time on, things have flown by. Despite a hurricane, lost paperwork, labor strikes, and other miscellaneous potential setbacks, we have seen timelines trampled on over and over again. We received our official referral in late December and met our girl in person for the first time January 9th, 2017. (Less than 4 months after meeting her on paper for the first time!) Every detail of preparation for our 15 days at the orphanage with her (and apart from her brothers... sniffle) was blessed by the Lord. There have been times when I have worked, knowing it pleased the Lord though it didn't feel easy. But this was a time when I worked and prepared and went with less sleep, yet felt more fueled and efficient than usual. Thank you Jesus! He was evident in every detail of that time with Leila, and especially in an area very dear to my heart. We had been praying that she would trust us, because trust is the foundation of love. And not only did we see her grow to trust us, but by the time we had to go she was returning our love and showing it in her own sweet ways. It's more than I could have asked or imagined.
After returning, we were told our final important document to seal our match could be 7 to 14 weeks away. Less than 2 weeks later, we had already received that document and sent off the Immigration paperwork that required it. (That alone is another whole story of God's provision and obvious attention to detail).
Weeks later, despite USCIS ( U.S. Immigration) declining our first submission (due to a paper our agency printed out that should have been in updated form) we were able to turn in Leila's visa info and after that first appointment she received her Article 5 which kick started IBESR to completely exit us from their department. This requires a review and 4 important signatures, which our agency said could take 6-8 months. Yet, despite them losing our most recent immigration info and needing it to be sent in again, we received our official exit from IBESR just a few weeks ago! We actually got this great news shortly before I went to spend 5 days with Leila recently ( I got home on Monday night, to a perfectly clean home and a big welcome home note on the chalkboard thanks to my best friend/ husband and two precious boys who definitely know my love language!)
Whew! I just took a minute to reread all that, and I am tired of hearing my own self talk, so I'm sure it was a lot to take in for you guys. Thank you for sticking with me through all of those details. Believe it or not, we really only skimmed the surface of the past 10 months or so of this journey. My heart's desire though, is that this one thing comes through loud and clear- We not only know who our daughter will be, but by the mercy of Jesus, we've even gotten to know her well and to finally lavish His love on her! In the past year, we have gone from waiting without answers, but growing just the same, to watching things progress as they blurred by. Now we are in a season of finalizing that has offered us two different timelines. One, 6- 8 months, which frankly we're pretty tired of hearing from our agency as it's become a pat answer which really means they have no clue ;) The other I heard while in Haiti this past week, was 3 to 4 months. This came from the lawyer there, although it was not spoken to me directly. I guess the point is, we still have some waiting to do, but in the meantime, we have this beautiful anticipation and growing relationship with our daughter to occupy the time. Brady has a great friend, the director of the library at the orphanage, who has graciously called us to talk face to face over the phone with Leila just about every month since we first visited. This is not common, and we do not take it for granted.
Thank you for sticking with us through these last several years of change and growth. Time and time again, we've thanked the Lord for your generosity in it's many forms. Your generous prayers, your generous invites to sit and talk or even cry together, your generous gifts which have helped with the many extra and unknown expenses, your generous respect for our space and strengthening of our hearts through notes or texts, your generous faith in the Lord to accomplish something that is not easy, but is so worth it all. I am humbled to be able to live this adventure of love, amazed that God can change and use a heart like mine that was once so selfish, but now thrives on the love He fills it with. May the Lord refresh your hearts as you have time and time again refreshed ours.
I really stink at blogging. I'm pretty sure we hold some kind of record for most pathetic blog upkeep. I apologize. Though we have neglected to maintain this blog, we have not forgotten your love, generosity, and support on this journey. We are so thankful for your patience as this last year played out, and it definitely played out according to the Lord's best plan. As usual, we were not given advance notice, but simply given the strength to trust Him as He worked! July of last year, as I wrote about the way Christ wastes no time in our waiting seasons, I was out of the loop on what big changes and beautiful gifts He had in store for us.
Around the time of our last blog, we were becoming confused and concerned about the lack of information and forward progress taking place with our pre-match to a precious little one whom we had been pre-matched with since early summer 2015 ( about 14 months). If you remember (I know it's been awhile) prior to this match, we had been moving through the process pre-matched with a little girl whose father was able to take her back home. So, after recent months of no change with our new match, and little cooperation or promise of change, we prayerfully considered how to act. Finally, we were informed (after much persistent questioning) that the little girl we were pre-matched to was still not fully adoptable. Her living parent, who initiated her daughter being adopted and had signed all paperwork and attended many scheduled appointments, was now not showing up to scheduled appointments or responding to any attempts at communication. There were two different camps of thought to process about this information. We chose to believe this was a situation of a precious Mama who was not ready to complete the relinquishment process, and by not following through was trying to buy time to bring her child back home. The other camp of thought, or explanation for this Mama's behavior was not very honoring of her, and we would much rather believe she behaved as she did with pure motives and love for her child.
Over the last 3 1/2 years since we began, we've been praying for the sweet one we were matched with, but even more specifically for the member of our family that the Lord planned to bring our way. We learned pretty early on in the process to be flexible, trusting that the Lord would answer our prayers and work on behalf of the little girl He wanted to place in our family. This may seem calloused, but we have really learned to want God's perfect will, and when a heart is dedicated in that direction, change and disappointment in all different forms is easier to accept, and a beautiful perspective of hope, which some may call foolish, brings confident anticipation of seeing God's plan unfold. We had hope that He would look after the little girl we were no longer going to be able to love on, and He would bring the one He had in mind all along- fulfilling our resolve for good and this work of faith by His power and for His glory (2 Thessalonians 1:11).
He mercifully allowed us to see His plan unfold in no time at all! We decided to petition the department who makes and approves matches (IBESR) to match us with a little girl who has already completed the court process. Duh, right? But in Haiti, this is a rarity as they are attempting to comply with new Hague adoption law and are really bogged down in an already complex matching process. Which basically means children who are ready to be adopted (court has declared them orphans) and waiting families who are already approved may not be linked up logically. We were informed that this was not a typical request and may not be looked upon favorably by IBESR because they want to maintain complete authority over the process and do not appreciate input or petitions. We went ahead and sent our lawyer to make the petition. We did not even know if there would be a ready child, or if so, the department would be willing to work with us or just send us back to the beginning. In no time at all, we heard back that IBESR had granted our petition! Our agency was surprised, as they had told us not to expect approval. We were so thankful!!!
We learned our daughter's name, and saw her beautiful face for the first time on September 16th, 2016 (her third birthday)! We were so thankful for the Lord's kindness towards us. From that time on, things have flown by. Despite a hurricane, lost paperwork, labor strikes, and other miscellaneous potential setbacks, we have seen timelines trampled on over and over again. We received our official referral in late December and met our girl in person for the first time January 9th, 2017. (Less than 4 months after meeting her on paper for the first time!) Every detail of preparation for our 15 days at the orphanage with her (and apart from her brothers... sniffle) was blessed by the Lord. There have been times when I have worked, knowing it pleased the Lord though it didn't feel easy. But this was a time when I worked and prepared and went with less sleep, yet felt more fueled and efficient than usual. Thank you Jesus! He was evident in every detail of that time with Leila, and especially in an area very dear to my heart. We had been praying that she would trust us, because trust is the foundation of love. And not only did we see her grow to trust us, but by the time we had to go she was returning our love and showing it in her own sweet ways. It's more than I could have asked or imagined.
After returning, we were told our final important document to seal our match could be 7 to 14 weeks away. Less than 2 weeks later, we had already received that document and sent off the Immigration paperwork that required it. (That alone is another whole story of God's provision and obvious attention to detail).
Weeks later, despite USCIS ( U.S. Immigration) declining our first submission (due to a paper our agency printed out that should have been in updated form) we were able to turn in Leila's visa info and after that first appointment she received her Article 5 which kick started IBESR to completely exit us from their department. This requires a review and 4 important signatures, which our agency said could take 6-8 months. Yet, despite them losing our most recent immigration info and needing it to be sent in again, we received our official exit from IBESR just a few weeks ago! We actually got this great news shortly before I went to spend 5 days with Leila recently ( I got home on Monday night, to a perfectly clean home and a big welcome home note on the chalkboard thanks to my best friend/ husband and two precious boys who definitely know my love language!)
Whew! I just took a minute to reread all that, and I am tired of hearing my own self talk, so I'm sure it was a lot to take in for you guys. Thank you for sticking with me through all of those details. Believe it or not, we really only skimmed the surface of the past 10 months or so of this journey. My heart's desire though, is that this one thing comes through loud and clear- We not only know who our daughter will be, but by the mercy of Jesus, we've even gotten to know her well and to finally lavish His love on her! In the past year, we have gone from waiting without answers, but growing just the same, to watching things progress as they blurred by. Now we are in a season of finalizing that has offered us two different timelines. One, 6- 8 months, which frankly we're pretty tired of hearing from our agency as it's become a pat answer which really means they have no clue ;) The other I heard while in Haiti this past week, was 3 to 4 months. This came from the lawyer there, although it was not spoken to me directly. I guess the point is, we still have some waiting to do, but in the meantime, we have this beautiful anticipation and growing relationship with our daughter to occupy the time. Brady has a great friend, the director of the library at the orphanage, who has graciously called us to talk face to face over the phone with Leila just about every month since we first visited. This is not common, and we do not take it for granted.
Thank you for sticking with us through these last several years of change and growth. Time and time again, we've thanked the Lord for your generosity in it's many forms. Your generous prayers, your generous invites to sit and talk or even cry together, your generous gifts which have helped with the many extra and unknown expenses, your generous respect for our space and strengthening of our hearts through notes or texts, your generous faith in the Lord to accomplish something that is not easy, but is so worth it all. I am humbled to be able to live this adventure of love, amazed that God can change and use a heart like mine that was once so selfish, but now thrives on the love He fills it with. May the Lord refresh your hearts as you have time and time again refreshed ours.
Friday, July 29, 2016
Nothing wasted in the waiting
So.......I know it's hard to believe, but we have now broken our record for the longest gap between blog updates! If I really believed you were all sitting on the edge of your seats, impatiently tapping your fingers and demanding new info, I might be more stressed about this. The truth is though, you have supported us beautifully and respected our space as these last two and a half years of love's adventure have played out. Thank you for that!
It's still a waiting season for our family. In fact, we just signed a new statement for our agency this morning acknowledging that there are "no established time frames for nearly any portion of the in-country process". We signed our names under the final paragraph stating "By signing and returning this Haiti Adoption Acknowledgment Statement, we, the Adoptive Family, understand and acknowledge the risks and unknowns of the Haiti adoption process, and elect to continue". I almost shuddered when I read that last line. People like us don't love risks and unknowns!!! We are pretty regular folks, not thrill seekers. The only exceptional thing about us is the Spirit of Jesus living in us. And yet, as perfect love was casting out all fear (1 John 4:18) I scribbled my name with confidence. Of course we elect to continue!!!
We may not have a timeline, but we have hope. We may not have regular updates, but we have unending patience and joy available to us because of our good God. He is constant. "You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts towards us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." Psalm 40:5
That's the really difficult thing about writing this update, I don't have the words to express the peace and joy and reassurance we have during this waiting season. It is more than I can tell. None compare with Him!
We recently saw July 1st come and go as our precious girl turned 3 years old. How we longed to be with her and celebrate her life. What a celebration we will have when she is home. She already has some sweet gifts that hang in her closet and fill her shelf just waiting for her to enjoy them! (And I may or may not be caught peeking into her closet every now and then, just taking in the reality of her eventual presence in our home ;) Langston and Banning, now almost 9 and 6 1/2 years old, continue to daydream out loud about the things they will teach their sister. They still call her room "sister's room" and love to take their guys in there and play. They both pray for her every day, constantly growing and maturing during their own waiting season.
We hope to hear in the next few months that the final papers are in and be invited to travel for our 15 day visit to the orphanage. Our most recent e-mail update stated that contacts were made and the creche (orphanage) director was attempting to meet with IBESR to pin down what's keeping things from moving forward. It can be very difficult to have a successful meeting with IBESR, so please pray that they will make time to visit with the director so she can provide whatever they need to move things along. Thank you for your faithful prayers!
In the mean time, may our little girl experience the love of Jesus during her own waiting season. May she be protected and nourished while we work to bring her home. And may she learn to trust the good heart of her Perfect Father (who never wastes the waiting) while her daddy and I grow to be more like Him as we wait.
Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God"? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:27-31
It's still a waiting season for our family. In fact, we just signed a new statement for our agency this morning acknowledging that there are "no established time frames for nearly any portion of the in-country process". We signed our names under the final paragraph stating "By signing and returning this Haiti Adoption Acknowledgment Statement, we, the Adoptive Family, understand and acknowledge the risks and unknowns of the Haiti adoption process, and elect to continue". I almost shuddered when I read that last line. People like us don't love risks and unknowns!!! We are pretty regular folks, not thrill seekers. The only exceptional thing about us is the Spirit of Jesus living in us. And yet, as perfect love was casting out all fear (1 John 4:18) I scribbled my name with confidence. Of course we elect to continue!!!
We may not have a timeline, but we have hope. We may not have regular updates, but we have unending patience and joy available to us because of our good God. He is constant. "You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts towards us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." Psalm 40:5
That's the really difficult thing about writing this update, I don't have the words to express the peace and joy and reassurance we have during this waiting season. It is more than I can tell. None compare with Him!
We recently saw July 1st come and go as our precious girl turned 3 years old. How we longed to be with her and celebrate her life. What a celebration we will have when she is home. She already has some sweet gifts that hang in her closet and fill her shelf just waiting for her to enjoy them! (And I may or may not be caught peeking into her closet every now and then, just taking in the reality of her eventual presence in our home ;) Langston and Banning, now almost 9 and 6 1/2 years old, continue to daydream out loud about the things they will teach their sister. They still call her room "sister's room" and love to take their guys in there and play. They both pray for her every day, constantly growing and maturing during their own waiting season.
We hope to hear in the next few months that the final papers are in and be invited to travel for our 15 day visit to the orphanage. Our most recent e-mail update stated that contacts were made and the creche (orphanage) director was attempting to meet with IBESR to pin down what's keeping things from moving forward. It can be very difficult to have a successful meeting with IBESR, so please pray that they will make time to visit with the director so she can provide whatever they need to move things along. Thank you for your faithful prayers!
In the mean time, may our little girl experience the love of Jesus during her own waiting season. May she be protected and nourished while we work to bring her home. And may she learn to trust the good heart of her Perfect Father (who never wastes the waiting) while her daddy and I grow to be more like Him as we wait.
Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God"? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:27-31
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
I pray often for our daughter. But yesterday, I am embarrassed to report, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I prayed a little differently and asked God to allow me to feel some kicking in this "pregnancy". When I carried Langston and Banning, it was so precious to feel the flutter of life with each kick from our newest family member. I was amazed and encouraged to know thru their movements that my child was safely on it's way to our family. But lately, the lack of news about progress in our adoption has caused my heart to long for a reassuring kick.
So last night I spent some time reading Psalm 37, because reading truth is always the best medicine for a bummed out heart. I read things like "Commit your way to the Lord- trust in Him and He will act" and "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him". My heart was satisfied once again, trusting that the One who created our little girl would continue to answer our prayers on her behalf.
Praise Jesus, I had the pleasure of feeling the flutter of life today! In my desperate, and probably obnoxious way, I called our agency to beg for a morsel of news. As it turns out, we were among the 13 families to make a stride forward recently. Apparently, the information they were receiving was a little complicated, and they were waiting to let us know until they had confirmed all the details. The Haiti specialist mentioned that she had already started an e-mail update for us and planned to send it today! We have progress!
Our little one is not forgotten, and my heart soars at the thought!!!!!
There are many steps in this process, but much like our pregnancies, we rejoice at each milestone. We continue to wait to hear that the next important step takes place so we can actually- Oh the thought!- get on a plane and go be with our girl!
So as I carry our daughter in my heart, I will remember this precious day, with gratitude for this kick of life, and joy at the thought of her arrival.
So last night I spent some time reading Psalm 37, because reading truth is always the best medicine for a bummed out heart. I read things like "Commit your way to the Lord- trust in Him and He will act" and "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him". My heart was satisfied once again, trusting that the One who created our little girl would continue to answer our prayers on her behalf.
Praise Jesus, I had the pleasure of feeling the flutter of life today! In my desperate, and probably obnoxious way, I called our agency to beg for a morsel of news. As it turns out, we were among the 13 families to make a stride forward recently. Apparently, the information they were receiving was a little complicated, and they were waiting to let us know until they had confirmed all the details. The Haiti specialist mentioned that she had already started an e-mail update for us and planned to send it today! We have progress!
Our little one is not forgotten, and my heart soars at the thought!!!!!
There are many steps in this process, but much like our pregnancies, we rejoice at each milestone. We continue to wait to hear that the next important step takes place so we can actually- Oh the thought!- get on a plane and go be with our girl!
So as I carry our daughter in my heart, I will remember this precious day, with gratitude for this kick of life, and joy at the thought of her arrival.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Wow! It has once again been a VERY long time since our last update. I should apologize, and probably would, if only I had a plan to be more timely and informative in the future. The truth is, it can be hard to write a blog update when we are scraping the barrel for new details to share. Several times I have sat down at the computer to write, only to find I can't quite form a complete thought, let alone an entire update! But finally, here is (over six months later) an update on the adventure we are living.
Last we shared, we were processing the new information that the little one we were expecting was now on a better adventure with her birth family. After lots of prayer and a little time, we were pre-matched with a precious little girl who turned 2 years old this summer. Our hearts are longing for the day we get to meet her face to face on our two week in-country visit, but we have yet to move onto that much anticipated part of this process.
We receive an update of sorts from our agency every couple of weeks, but as much as they would love to have exciting new information to share with us, the department in Haiti processing this step in our adoption is moving painfully slow. Many families and children are waiting for IBESR approval before they are able to move forward and be united. Please join us in praying for those working in this very important department to be organized, productive, and driven by love, to work out the kinks in their system so children will not be needlessly kept from their forever families. We realize IBESR faces challenges as it endeavors to protect children and their birth families from being exploited, and we highly admire anything Haiti is doing to protect them. We are just one of the many families in the post Hague Treaty side of Haitian adoption experiencing the effects of change, and pray that in the future children and families will benefit from the difficulties some of us are now experiencing.
The last update we received from our agency explained that some families (13 out of the 35 in our particular part of the process) have moved forward a step towards receiving approval and invitation to travel for their 2 week visit. This was great news, and we rejoice with the families that received this positive update! We are hopeful to be among the next to receive great news! Haiti recently reported hiring "9 to 11" people to help process adoptions in this department, which we found to be comical and wondered about the 2 person range????? There has also been news of important training being implemented for IBESR workers. We are hopeful that the increase in staff and training will translate into increased productivity. A possibly positive side effect of our long journey is the increased certainty that every necessary document and step will be completed accurately before leaving this department. Unfortunately, some families are currently having to back step because Haiti made recent requirement changes to documents that families further along in the process had previously been told were complete. So...... sorry to bombard you with the nitty-gritty, but this is the type of update we have to offer these days!
As you can probably imagine, there's always the possibility for fear and worry to creep in and steal joy from this adventure. We were told recently there's currently only one social worker in the entire country of Haiti. Although I sometimes need to spend purposeful time remembering the amazing ways God has already shown himself mighty in this process, my confidence is still in the One who sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6) and He can do so even with just one social worker!!!
And when I say I spend time reminding myself of the ways God has been mighty, I mean I spend time remembering the car loads full of garage sale items precious friends and family brought to us to stock our garage sale fundraisers. I remember those who have wrapped us in support in every possible way. What an undeserved joy! I remember the fully funded adoption fund that we never dreamed was possible, but God made possible. And I remember the hearts of our sons, so prepared to love and protect their sister, not because of us, but because of a beautiful work God is doing in us all. Most of all, I remember the little girl waiting for us while we wait for her and praise Jesus for the privilege of someday calling her our own. May she experience His presence as He continues to work mightily on her behalf, and may He receive every bit of due praise for the kindness and goodness He's shown us on this amazing adventure of love.
Last we shared, we were processing the new information that the little one we were expecting was now on a better adventure with her birth family. After lots of prayer and a little time, we were pre-matched with a precious little girl who turned 2 years old this summer. Our hearts are longing for the day we get to meet her face to face on our two week in-country visit, but we have yet to move onto that much anticipated part of this process.
We receive an update of sorts from our agency every couple of weeks, but as much as they would love to have exciting new information to share with us, the department in Haiti processing this step in our adoption is moving painfully slow. Many families and children are waiting for IBESR approval before they are able to move forward and be united. Please join us in praying for those working in this very important department to be organized, productive, and driven by love, to work out the kinks in their system so children will not be needlessly kept from their forever families. We realize IBESR faces challenges as it endeavors to protect children and their birth families from being exploited, and we highly admire anything Haiti is doing to protect them. We are just one of the many families in the post Hague Treaty side of Haitian adoption experiencing the effects of change, and pray that in the future children and families will benefit from the difficulties some of us are now experiencing.
The last update we received from our agency explained that some families (13 out of the 35 in our particular part of the process) have moved forward a step towards receiving approval and invitation to travel for their 2 week visit. This was great news, and we rejoice with the families that received this positive update! We are hopeful to be among the next to receive great news! Haiti recently reported hiring "9 to 11" people to help process adoptions in this department, which we found to be comical and wondered about the 2 person range????? There has also been news of important training being implemented for IBESR workers. We are hopeful that the increase in staff and training will translate into increased productivity. A possibly positive side effect of our long journey is the increased certainty that every necessary document and step will be completed accurately before leaving this department. Unfortunately, some families are currently having to back step because Haiti made recent requirement changes to documents that families further along in the process had previously been told were complete. So...... sorry to bombard you with the nitty-gritty, but this is the type of update we have to offer these days!
As you can probably imagine, there's always the possibility for fear and worry to creep in and steal joy from this adventure. We were told recently there's currently only one social worker in the entire country of Haiti. Although I sometimes need to spend purposeful time remembering the amazing ways God has already shown himself mighty in this process, my confidence is still in the One who sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6) and He can do so even with just one social worker!!!
And when I say I spend time reminding myself of the ways God has been mighty, I mean I spend time remembering the car loads full of garage sale items precious friends and family brought to us to stock our garage sale fundraisers. I remember those who have wrapped us in support in every possible way. What an undeserved joy! I remember the fully funded adoption fund that we never dreamed was possible, but God made possible. And I remember the hearts of our sons, so prepared to love and protect their sister, not because of us, but because of a beautiful work God is doing in us all. Most of all, I remember the little girl waiting for us while we wait for her and praise Jesus for the privilege of someday calling her our own. May she experience His presence as He continues to work mightily on her behalf, and may He receive every bit of due praise for the kindness and goodness He's shown us on this amazing adventure of love.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
The Lily in the valley of adventure...
"Please give me a call when you have some time to talk", the voice mail said. So, yesterday, I found a little time, an activity for our boys, and shut myself in our bedroom to return the phone call to the Haiti specialist at our adoption agency. "I have some bad news; Bergeline is no longer living at the orphanage; her father returned to take her home" she said. Her words were gentle and knowing. I took a minute to let them sink in, aware that this phone call would be life changing.
She explained that she was as shocked as we were, and that she had only seen this circumstance one other time. I began to speak, explaining how we had always prayed God's best for Bergeline. That she, and her biological family would know Jesus' great love for them. We have asked God to nourish her, providing for every one of her needs, surrounding her with His favor. We have prayed, these last seven months that she would know that God is for her, and not against her, that He has great plans for her! And now, in this moment, I was able to see that God's best for Bergeline was to prepare her daddy (a widower) to return to bring his beloved daughter home! How could I not be happy for her? How could I not rejoice at the thought of her daddy traveling to the orphanage, knowing soon he would be reunited with his baby girl? What a year this must have been for him, losing his wife, the mother of his children. How could I not weep with joy at the thought of her siblings excitedly welcoming home their baby sister? It is as it should be. God sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6) and He had done just that. God be praised.
And yet here we are. We are disappointed, but so grateful that God in His faithfulness knows exactly who needs us the most! As Brady and I were explaining the news to Langston and Banning, many questions needed answers. The boys understood what a blessing it is for Bergeline to be home with her daddy, but definitely don't like that it means she won't be coming to be their sister! We were able to explain that God knows the little girl who really needs them to be her brothers, and really needs us to be her daddy and mommy. Our goal is for God to bring us the lonely one that He has in mind! God is sovereign, and His plan is best. We jokingly said it's as if God protected Bergeline from accidentally becoming their sister, because their real sister, who needs them the most was on her way to our family! It is the kindness of God that leads our hearts in peace. His goodness is never-failing. His love is never-ending. He's got this.
So now what? We offer a sacrifice of praise that God's best for Bergeline is being done, but where do we go from here? We are still waiting for our Truly. We are still preparing our hearts to show the little girl coming our way that she is Truly loved! We find ourselves in a bit of a valley, lifting our eyes to the hills where our help comes from. Our help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth! Psalm 121:1
( We do not find it coincidental that our Sunday sermon series has been dedicated to this very idea! Thank you Northside! ) Every great adventure has moments of peril, the appearance of defeat, the opportunity to lose heart or give up faith. But every great adventure strengthens those willing to take it, and to everyone joining us on this adventure- thank you!
So you may be asking yourself, "What in the world do they do now?" Well, we are beginning the process of pre-matching again. While on the phone with our agency yesterday, our specialist reported having met a precious little girl in a pink dress while she was there. She took her picture, and is requesting her file be translated so we can look into a match. She also reported other possible match opportunities. This will be the focus of the next couple of weeks. After that, we have been told, the timeline should not change because all of our paperwork is already in, and we already have a spot in Haiti's pre-matching phase which simply means we don't have to start all over! As we have more information, we will update all of you who so patiently join us in prayer.
We know many of you have faithfully prayed for Bergeline, and like us are feeling the pain of goodbye. We thought so many things pointed to her being the one, even down the the special birthday she shared. Thank you for crying with us and purposely involving yourselves in this adventure's valley time. May your hearts be refreshed, and your faith strengthened! What a joy it will be to celebrate together when all of this is said and done!
So as we approach this weekend, I am amazed at God's timing. That He would choose to break this news to us during the most hopeful time of the year! Not so many years ago, people who loved Jesus were churning over plans they thought they understood. (Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 ESV) Things were not going the way they thought they should. Jesus was not living up to their expectations. How could it be God's best plan for Jesus to quietly endure the beatings, refusing to defend himself against the lies? How could this be a good thing? But, oh the plans God had for them, for after a time of silence, a time of confusion, God's beautiful plan was clearly known as He brought Jesus up from the grave and rescued the world! Jesus, you are the great author of adventure and you are worth every minute in the valley! You are the lily of the valley!
*You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
Psalm 139: 5-6
She explained that she was as shocked as we were, and that she had only seen this circumstance one other time. I began to speak, explaining how we had always prayed God's best for Bergeline. That she, and her biological family would know Jesus' great love for them. We have asked God to nourish her, providing for every one of her needs, surrounding her with His favor. We have prayed, these last seven months that she would know that God is for her, and not against her, that He has great plans for her! And now, in this moment, I was able to see that God's best for Bergeline was to prepare her daddy (a widower) to return to bring his beloved daughter home! How could I not be happy for her? How could I not rejoice at the thought of her daddy traveling to the orphanage, knowing soon he would be reunited with his baby girl? What a year this must have been for him, losing his wife, the mother of his children. How could I not weep with joy at the thought of her siblings excitedly welcoming home their baby sister? It is as it should be. God sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6) and He had done just that. God be praised.
And yet here we are. We are disappointed, but so grateful that God in His faithfulness knows exactly who needs us the most! As Brady and I were explaining the news to Langston and Banning, many questions needed answers. The boys understood what a blessing it is for Bergeline to be home with her daddy, but definitely don't like that it means she won't be coming to be their sister! We were able to explain that God knows the little girl who really needs them to be her brothers, and really needs us to be her daddy and mommy. Our goal is for God to bring us the lonely one that He has in mind! God is sovereign, and His plan is best. We jokingly said it's as if God protected Bergeline from accidentally becoming their sister, because their real sister, who needs them the most was on her way to our family! It is the kindness of God that leads our hearts in peace. His goodness is never-failing. His love is never-ending. He's got this.
So now what? We offer a sacrifice of praise that God's best for Bergeline is being done, but where do we go from here? We are still waiting for our Truly. We are still preparing our hearts to show the little girl coming our way that she is Truly loved! We find ourselves in a bit of a valley, lifting our eyes to the hills where our help comes from. Our help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth! Psalm 121:1
( We do not find it coincidental that our Sunday sermon series has been dedicated to this very idea! Thank you Northside! ) Every great adventure has moments of peril, the appearance of defeat, the opportunity to lose heart or give up faith. But every great adventure strengthens those willing to take it, and to everyone joining us on this adventure- thank you!
So you may be asking yourself, "What in the world do they do now?" Well, we are beginning the process of pre-matching again. While on the phone with our agency yesterday, our specialist reported having met a precious little girl in a pink dress while she was there. She took her picture, and is requesting her file be translated so we can look into a match. She also reported other possible match opportunities. This will be the focus of the next couple of weeks. After that, we have been told, the timeline should not change because all of our paperwork is already in, and we already have a spot in Haiti's pre-matching phase which simply means we don't have to start all over! As we have more information, we will update all of you who so patiently join us in prayer.
We know many of you have faithfully prayed for Bergeline, and like us are feeling the pain of goodbye. We thought so many things pointed to her being the one, even down the the special birthday she shared. Thank you for crying with us and purposely involving yourselves in this adventure's valley time. May your hearts be refreshed, and your faith strengthened! What a joy it will be to celebrate together when all of this is said and done!
So as we approach this weekend, I am amazed at God's timing. That He would choose to break this news to us during the most hopeful time of the year! Not so many years ago, people who loved Jesus were churning over plans they thought they understood. (Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 ESV) Things were not going the way they thought they should. Jesus was not living up to their expectations. How could it be God's best plan for Jesus to quietly endure the beatings, refusing to defend himself against the lies? How could this be a good thing? But, oh the plans God had for them, for after a time of silence, a time of confusion, God's beautiful plan was clearly known as He brought Jesus up from the grave and rescued the world! Jesus, you are the great author of adventure and you are worth every minute in the valley! You are the lily of the valley!
*You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
Psalm 139: 5-6
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